What topics make you sit up and provide you with an instant jolt of energy when the conversation swings towards them?
For a while now, I have sensed that I have a very unique mix of experience, skills, and talent. Additionally, my upbringing has allowed me to see the world through a very unique lens. As a result, you’ll see me approach a variety of topics in unique and innovative ways. For example, I was speaking to a group recently where I shared that most organizations believe they have an engagement problem or a productivity problem but, what they really have is an experience problem. After providing more details about that different perspective, I had several people come up to me afterwards to relay that they had not thought about their engagement issues in that matter.
Last week, I mentioned that I started a website. This week, I want to expand upon the why behind that. Why the website? Because I want to be a part of unlocking more of those “ah ha” moments in others like I mentioned above. The validation that comes in the follow up conversations after the presentations is nice, but the real joy comes in helping people see some of their more entrenched and resistant issues from a different prospective. It’s been something I’ve been doing all my life and the more that I have the opportunity to engage with others in that way, the more I have found that it brings me joy. Who doesn’t want more joy in their life?
When I’m asked to give talks, the five most common topics I speak on are connectedness, wellbeing, taking an active role in becoming the best version of yourself, understanding and solving intergenerational conflicts, and leadership. Here’s an example of what I mean when it comes to unique and innovative perspectives when it comes to those five topics.
Connectedness
At the core of nearly every issue you will face is belonging. Our ability or inability to connect with others fuels or stymies our sense of belonging. When our sense of belonging is threatened, acting rationally from that point on is off the table. We are so desperate to feel like we belong that we can often try too hard to do so. When we create, cultivate, and foster connections, we fuel belonging. This makes everything else we do possible. When we aren’t addressing belonging as a core issue, our efforts amount to using band-aids in hopes of stopping massive bleeding. When was the last time you heard one of your leaders talk about and model the importance of connectedness? You think you have a team dynamics problem. What you really have is a belonging problem.
Wellbeing
In my fulltime role, I lead a health and wellness program. Belonging is the foundation of that program. That may sound strange but think about it. What good is a yoga class if I don’t feel like I can be my authentic self when I show up to work? Don’t get me wrong. Wellbeing is way more than yoga classes. From a programmatic and personal standpoint, belonging is foundational but there are other elements to focus on. For me, I get the most bang for my buck with my wellbeing when I focus on belonging, agency, and purpose. Why those three things? Those focal points have clear ties to one’s career well-being. Career well-being is the most influential dimension of wellness on our overall well-being. As I have become older and wiser, I have learned the importance of aligning with work that makes me feel like I am heard and belong, provides opportunity for autonomy and mastery, and provides me with opportunity to use my unique gifts to fuel my purpose. You think that wellness is an event and have failed to realize it is a life-long journey.
Becoming the best version of yourself
One of the tough truths of wellbeing that is sometimes hard to hear is that it takes work to maintain one’s wellbeing. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all watch YouTube videos at 2x speed of other people working out and that’s all we needed to do to get in shape? Wellness is a journey. It is not an event or a destination. So how do you embark on that journey? One intentional step at a time. Taking a few minutes to read this article could be wellness for you right now. The most important thing to remember when it comes feeding what can feel like an insatiable need to become the best version of yourself is, you get to define what that means. Do you have a definition of what it means to be the best version of yourself? I call mine my wellness vision and it goes like this:
I find joy in my chosen profession, joy in being the person that the most important people in my life need me to be, and joy in being me.
If I can feel like that most of the time, I have a sense of calm that I don’t have to go chase becoming the best version of myself. I’m already there. Now, I can focus on being the best version of the best version of myself. That can get confusing quick. The point is, when you are chasing a nebulous and ill-defined construct, you’ll never reach your destination. Define an achievable ideal state that provides enough structure so you know when you are there but also allows for flexibility for continued growth even after you arrive. You think you are missing out on some better version of yourself but what’s really happening is you have yet to define what that better version is.
Understanding and solving intergenerational conflicts
Wouldn’t it be great if we all approached conflict with curiosity and not judgement? When you are in a moment of conflict, remember that the root of all discord is expectations. The root of all intergenerational conflict is we expect a certain behavior but we are seeing something entirely different. While that may sound oversimplified, sit with that for a minute. Every negative thing we hear about different generations usually involves some misalignment of expectations. What we fail to realize is that the person standing in front of you representing whatever generation that applies to them is the product of vastly different inputs than the generations that preceded or follows them. Outputs (the person standing in front of you) will never be the same if the inputs are different. Unfortunately, depsite there being a 20 year difference from when we were raised, we still expect people to interrupt the world the same way we do. Context is everything and when it comes to generational expectations, context is usually the last thing we think about. Our current intergenerational strife boils down to little more than tribalism; yet another example of us versus them. Our bounded perspectives tightly enclose us within our fortified circles defining ingroups and outgroups. We need to think in terms of larger, more all-encompassing circles that allows us to connect along our lines of similarities and shared goals versus maintaining a myopic focus on our differences. You think you have a generational problem. What you really have is a problem stimming from a lack of context fueling misaligned expectations.
Leadership
It would be hard to imagine a more dynamic time for leaders than where we are now. Managers at all levels are weathering challenges such as cyberthreats, attrition, job vacancies, employee satisfaction, operational targets, and grappling with decisions such as hybrid, onsite, or remote work policies. While each one of these challenges are capable of dealing catastrophic consequences, leaders today are arguably less-prepared to meet those challenges than anytime before. In research conducted by Josh Bersin, global HR research analyst and CEO of The Josh Bersin Company, 83% of respondents reporting decreasing their leadership development budget. As spending on leadership development has dropped to decade lows, Bersin reported that in his 25 years of studying leadership, he has never seen investment in leadership development this low. What I have seen is that what is replacing actual coaching, mentoring and leadership development is a promote and expect mentality. Just as ridiculous as it is to believe that watching a workout video will get you healthy, it is just as ridiculous to assume that one’s new leadership title alone has prepared them for leadership. Outside of the general lack of investment in leadership development, root cause in what we are seeing in our ill-prepared and often accidental leaders is the lack of a consistent feedback loop. Feedback is where the growth happens. Unfortunately, our lack of leadership development has led to a lack of people willing to provide critically valuable feedback which then only further compounds the lack in leadership development. What we are left with is leaders who go on to use policy as a proxy for leadership. Their inability and/or unwillingness to provide direct feedback leads to a cranking up of the bureaucratic machine that spits out another magic policy that will solve it all. Human behavior doesn’t work like this. Policy doesn’t drive our actions. Relationships do. I don’t care if I let down some faceless policy. But if I have a boss that has invested his or her time and energy in me to make me a better person, I will do everything in my power to ensure they see a return on their investment. You think you have a leadership problem. What you have is a relationship problem.
I am grateful to have arrived at this point in my life when I can clearly articulate the topics that light my fire. I am grateful for the experiences I have had that have allowed me to make real progress in these areas where others have continued to struggle. I am looking forward to every opportunity to continue making that progress with whomever I am fortunate enough to help along the way.
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